The middle man

We had to have the "private parts" talk with Will recently.

It all started when our friend Katy was over one day and Will was getting changed for a big event.

"Hey, Katy!" Will said. "Look at my MIDDLE!"

Insert the little "shake, shake, shake ... shake your booty" dance his Aunt Sara taught him here.

"Middle" was the word he used, one we'd never used for that particular appendage, but we all knew what he meant, even without a wide-open size 5T trenchcoat.

Anyway, we had the talk and I thought Will got it until later that night.

He is notoriously bad at sitting still while I cut his toenails and it usually ends up with us arguing over why it is so difficult to sit still. Will's main excuse is that "sitting still is just TOO hard."

Anyway, that night Will tried another tactic to get out of nail-cutting time.

"Mommy," he said. "You cutting my nails is not right. My toes are some of my privacy parts."

The Hamburglar's still guilty

Will has a funny way of pulling things from weeks or months ago out of thin air and injecting them into conversation. For instance:

This weekend, while driving around a mall parking lot, Will belts out "Daddy, you were wrong!" The tone of his voice carried an implied "once again" at the end of the sentence.

"Why's that, buddy?"

"Because you said the Hamburglar didn't steal burgers any more and he still steals hamburgers." (Remember, it's Will talking, so take out all the L's in that last sentence to get a sense for how it sounded.)

"What was that all about?" Jana asked.

Thought about it, and remembered that a month or so ago, after Will told us about a Ronald McDonald movie they watched at day care (McDonald's stealth mission to get a new wave of consumers hooked on Big Macs and salty fries from a young age). That night, for his pre-bedtime story, I told him a tale of how the Hamburglar reformed, stopped stealing hamburgers, and became a productive member of society.

Apparently, Will has recently seen evidence that the Hamburglar has not, in fact, given up his criminal ways.

Someone call Mayor McCheese.

Readaloud

Tuesday was Great American Read Aloud day and the ladies from the Friends of the Iola Library asked me to read to a group of children. What fun! A couple of Will's friends from day care were there, and the adult readers did a great job with the five books.

We brought If I Built A Car, by Chris Van Dusen, a really fun book that both Jana and my mom recommended without consulting each other. Will came up from his seat in the crowd to sit next to me during the reading, which was terrific.

One of the best things about Will from the get-go has been his love of books, and we're really hoping that keeps up. Yesterday we went to the Fox Cities Book Festival in Appleton and got a bunch of books for Will and his brother, and he was so excited about the haul!

Dancing fool

Remember a couple weeks ago when Will said he was a dancing fool? Well, we have video evidence. Yesterday while we were at World Market in Appleton he started getting down to the music playing over the PA.



It's sort of a Country/The Robot/Rumpshaker combination. We couldn't stop laughing.

Two gems from Will this morning

1. We're working on the lawn, and Will says "OK Daddy, here's the plan. You do the hard stuff, I'll do the not hard stuff."

2. After we make a mess, Will says "Daddy, since we made the mess, Mommy has to clean up the mess, right?"

We've got work to do ...

Dirty laundry

Will has a secret "night-life." I'm not kidding. We put this child to sleep and, a mere two hours later when we head up to bed, all sorts of evidence has appeared.

- His stuffed animal "pets" are sleeping on a chair with my pajama pants for a blanket.
- The water glass by Scott's side of the bed is now on the windowsill.
- Will is sleeping on our bed with a green laundry basket on his head. (I believe this is some sort of trap to try to catch his parents moving him back to his bed.)
- Given his frequent "accidents" of late, he's filling up the bathtub and drinking the whole thing to quench his thirst.

Anyway, last night, after raising his hand and swearing to stay in bed the whole night and nothing but the whole night, Will yells down about 45 minutes after I thought he was asleep:

"Mommy? There aren't any sheets on your bed!"

"I know ... Mommy's washing them."

"Can I help, Mommy?"

"No, Will, you're supposed to be sleeping."

"OK. But Mommy? Why aren't there any sheets on your bed? Did you or Daddy have an accident?"

Nursery reimagined, first draft

Jana and I painted the baby's nursery this weekend, transforming the walls from light yellow to blue. At first Jana thought it would be too dark, but we were both happy with it. She and Clary are going to do some more work on it this week before Clary takes off for Florida (lucky!).

Note too our new glider-rocker, which Will loves and we think will be great for using with the new baby.

Female cup

Here's one: cleaning up the table today, I put a yellow hard plastic cup inside a blue glass. Will says, "That looks like a female cup!" Take a look at it - any idea what he means?

He's a homer

Baseball season is getting into Will's subconscious.

He was talking to the baby through my belly — sort of in the way Horton talks to the Mayor of Whoville — when he looks up and says with Bob Uecker-like delivery:

"Mommy, when our baby gets big enough, he's going to say, "I'm Outta Here ..."

Clutch play

Will and I sometimes play computer games ... I steer, he shoots. The easiest way to both sit at the computer is for him to just sit on my lap. Of course, these days Will's brother has sort of "claimed" that space.

Tonight, after slipping off my lap a few times, I said, "It's getting harder to sit on mommy's lap, isn't it."

Will says, "Yeah, because you're getting so big ... I mean, I'm getting so big."

Scott, from the sidelines, pats Will on the back and adds, "Beautiful save."

The new guy

Sometimes I look at Will and think, "Wow, he's going to be a real looker when he's older." I know that's probably just the mommy in me, but I really do think he's got the makings of a heart-breaker.

Anyway, tonight I was looking at him and wondering if our latest addition will take after him or have a look totally his own or — God forbid — get some of Scott and my worst physical traits.

We sometimes play that game in our heads. Ideally, of course, we'd have a child with Scott's height and blue eyes, my hair and skin — and a nose, teeth and eyesight that defy his genetics. Instead we picture some poor lad with my height and long nose who goes bald or gray at 16.

I asked Will his opinion, "Do you think our baby will look like you?"

"No," Will said matter of factly. He doesn't really like to think of there being anyone quite like him.

"Well, who do you think our baby will look like?" I asked. "Mommy or Daddy?"

Will: "I don't know ... maybe an elephant."

Now there's a scenario we hadn't considered.

More boys

I was just talking with Will after reading him his bedtime books, and told him I was looking forward to having two boys.

"I can't wait until we have three boys, Daddy!" he said.

This after Will scored two cereal box Matchbox cars that he used to turn the kitchen into a demolition derby while Jana was sorting Tupperware this evening. Don't think Jana shares Will's sentiment!