Flushed away

We were at a restaurant recently when Will decided that he is old enough to go to the bathroom by himself.

He stopped agreeing to accompany me to the ladies room quite awhile ago. That rite of passage has meant many a long wait for me outside the mens room ... usually made more frustrating by the fact that I see grown men walking out, laughing uncontrollably.

So, when Will decided he could go by himself -- I didn't have to wait outside -- I was all over that one.

Off he went.

He was gone for about .5 seconds when he came back and said, "Which one is it again?"

Scott: "The one that says M-E-N."

Off he went.

And I knew, I just knew there would be an issue.

Off I went.

There he was, going back and forth between the two doors. He looked at me, pointed to both doors, and said, "Mommy! M-E-N!"

It's how his brain works: M-E-N is in the word "men" AND the word "women."

I pointed him in the right direction and he took off again, my big little m-a-n.

Back at our table, Scott and I were enjoying a few quiet moments with Charlie when a stranger came over to me.

"Is your name Jana?"

"Yes."

"Your little boy is looking for you."

Oh, God.

I rounded the corner and there he was, pants around his ankles outside the men's room.

"Mommy! I don't know how to flush this thing!"

Well, I've now added "can flush a urinal" to my list of talents. I think I'll put it in between "can get baby poop out of the carpet" and "can reasonably function on three hours of sleep."

Bedtime stories

The other night, as is customary, Will asked for a story before bedtime after reading books. He requested a story of two armies fighting each other, so I obliged with a bad rendition of the Revolutionary War. Will was pleased with it.

Then he asked if I wanted him to tell me a story. Sure, should be interesting. What about? he asked. A football game, I said. Don't know how -- how about a soccer game? he said. Sure.

So Will told me a story about how the United States of America played a soccer game against Michigan State. Usually when these teams played the game ended in a tie, but the USA did extra exercises in their house and won the game this time, and with it an enormous trophy. Team USA then turned into an army.

They then played Texas, and Texas won this game, promptly turning into an army afterward. Texas and the USA then went over to England and fought a war, which turned out to be the last war ever fought. Couldn't they have just done it in, say, Missouri?

Fun stuff, I love it when he wants to tell stories, it's so good to foster his creativity.

Overheard at church ...

... during the sign of peace.

Nice Lady to Will: "Peace be with you little guy!"

Will: "Excuse me! I'm four and a half, and my birthday is May twentieff!"

Grandma Tappa's

There are lots of nice things about living where we live. An abundance of parks within a 15-minute drive. Pizza at the Wheel House and ice cream at Scooper's. Football games at the field just beyond our backyard.

One of the best, though, is that my grandma lives just 10 minutes away. Being able to see her on a regular basis is such a treat for me, and I think the feeling is mutual.

Especially since Jana and I had the boys. Charlie and Will are my grandma's first great-grandchildren, and it's nice for them to be able to spend quality time together.

Take Saturday morning. Charlie was Charlie, giving Grandma some smiles and cuddling, but eventually he got cranky and needed a nap. While he slept on my chest, Grandma spent a good hour one-on-one with Will.

They played hide and seek, which is always a hoot to watch. At one point Grandma was down on her hands and knees behind a chair, hiding. Will found her quickly, because he saw her feet and "bumper."

They read books, including one about firemen. Grandma was able to tell Will about his great-grandpa, who was a fireman, and the picture of me on a fire engine. They also talked about fire safety and smoke detectors. At one point during this discussion Will asked Grandma what "shrill" meant. Oh, the irony.

Later they went for a walk around Grandma's apartment complex, meeting her neighbors and checking out their door decorations. For some reason, Will just loves going in the parking garage in the basement.

Hopefully the boys will remember these times when they get older. I'm sure she will.

Saturday Night Will

Will and I had a nice time Saturday. Earlier in the day, I suggested to him that we go to the swimming pool at the Fitness and Aquatic Center in Iola, but his nap lasted until about 3:45 and the pool closed at 4:30. We couldn't go.

Will was devastated, and Jana suggested we look at some of the hotels with pools in the area, that we could book a night if the rooms were cheap. The cheapest was $96; Will, upon hearing this, ran to his room and got his piggy bank, digging out $7 to help defray the cost. He was that desperate for water.

It turned out we could just pay a few dollars and use the pool for a couple hours at most of these places, so we went to the new Holiday Inn in Stevens Point. Upon entering, Will said "Now this is a water park!" He wasn't quite big enough for the big slide yet, but we had fun with the basketball hoops, the frog slide, the hot tub, and the three water spouts.

Afterward we went to Target for some Christmas shopping. Suddenly Will yells out "Daddy, you've got to see this!" He was pointing at the full cart of a nice couple shopping for their children, particularly at an airplane toy that he much admired. "Who are those for?"asked our bashful son. "Our kids," replied the lady, kindly. "But you don't have any kids!" said Will. "Actually, we have three, and they're at home."

"Oh ... what's that?" Will said, proceeding to examine the entire contents of the cart. This is the same boy who most of the time says he is "too shy" to talk on the phone with his parents when they call. Hmmm.

After dinner and ice cream at Dairy Queen, we headed home, Will questioning my route every mile. We were listening to the Wisconsin-Green Bay basketball game, and during a commercial break and ad played for chocolate milk, which the announcer said was the optimal refreshment for exercise. "Does that mean it's good?!?" yelled Will, who hadn't spoken for 15 minutes and who I thought was asleep. Yes, Will, chocolate milk is good and good for you.

When we got home Jana was giving Charlie a bath, and informed us that the baby is close to crawling. "Oh great," said Will. "Now he'll be getting in my piggy bank."

Well, someone's got to pay for the hotel, right?

Pulling my leg

Will wakes up in the middle of the night every now and then to tell me that his legs hurt.

I remember growing pains well. Scott does too. We figure given Will's size, he probably gets some dandies.

Anyway, Will woke up about 5 a.m. today with a growing pain in his left leg. As I was putting a heated wrap on it, I tried to put a positive spin on the pain.

"Do you know what this means, Will?" I asked, rubbing his sore left leg. "It means that you're getting bigger again. You're going to be so big and tall."

"I know, I know, Mommy," he said. Then, pointing to his right leg, he says, "And if this leg hurt, it would mean I was getting smaller."

Quips from the Wheel House

Jana and I took the boys to the Wheel House in Waupaca for pizza Friday night, nice to get back on that ritual. Unfortunately Scoopers, the ice cream store next door, closes during the winter, which Will was disappointed to learn. Of course, Jana pointed out, not all ice cream shops are closed during the winter.

"Guys, I know not all ice cream shops hibernate during the winter," Will says to us. "I'm very smart, but I'm not a scientist."

This drew big laughs from a lady entering the restaurant at the same time. I think she encouraged him to become a scientist some day. We can only hope. Later, Will whispered to me that the ice cream shops that don't hibernate in the winter actually hibernate in the summer.

Not true! Afterward, at one of the ice cream shops that does not hibernate during winter or summer -- Dairy Queen -- Will was taking his sweet time finishing his Dilly Bar. Jana and I, showing rare patience, passed the time by playing with Charlie in front of the fish tank. Never one to relinquish the spotlight easily, Will took it upon himself to make a statement we haven't heard before.

"Guys, quit goofing around -- it's way past my bedtime!"

For the record, we were in fact goofing around, but it was not past his bedtime. And will finished his Dilly Bar ... darn, thought I'd get some of it.

That's all folks

Every night after school or daycare, Will gives a report that goes something like this: "Only 3 time-outs today, guys!"

Scott and I always exchange a quick warning glance not to congratulate Will.

"Let's try for zero tomorow, OK?" one of us will wearily respond.

Recently, he gets in the car and says, "Guess what? I had NO time-outs today!"

"Great, Will! That's awesome! Great job!"

"Do I get a treat?" he says, smiling from ear to ear.

"No, absolutely not. We expect you to get no time outs."

"What? That's not fair!"

"You don't get treats for not getting into trouble. You're not supposed to get into trouble!"

"Arrghh! What's going on with you guys!?!"

He just didn't get it. So I tried another tactic.

"Will, does Mommy get a treat for making dinner?" I said.

"No."

"Why not."

Pouting, he answers, "Because you're supposed to make dinner."

I thought that was the end of it. And then, last night, Will got his revenge.

While trying to stall going to bed he says, "We didn't even have a real dinner tonight."

"What?" I said. "We had chicken and potatoes."

I did feel a little guilty. We had to run a couple of errands last night and it was getting so late, we got a fried chicken dinner from the IGA. Not a very healthy dinner, but still a dinner.

"Yeah, but that's all," he says. "There wasn't any other stuff like fruit or veggies ..."

"Wait! No, you also had a banana and Mommy made you a sandwich later. And you had milk."

"That's only five things! How do you expect me to make a dinner out of that?"

Sigh. Who told Will about the concept of 7-course dinners?

Laugh riot

Charlie's first gut laugh ... of course Will is the one that inspired it.

Has-been?

The other day I was watching a recorded telecast of the Waupaca football team's state championship win over Reedsburg. Will asked which team we wanted to win, and I said Waupaca. "Did you know that Papa played sports for Waupaca when he was a boy?"

Will seemed surprised.

"Well, he wouldn't be a good player now."

"Why's that?"

"Because he's soooooo old."

I guess Will does remember Dad sauntering gingerly around the diamond at the Lakemen baseball team's alumni game a couple summers ago. Not an issue for Will:

"With my running shoes, I'm the fastest boy on Earth!"