Let this be a lesson

Scott was singing along to Whitney Houston's, "How Will I Know?" tonight in the car.

I was silent ... but desperate to change the station.

"I'm wondering if my dad is the one who turned me on to Whitney Houston?" he says, taking a break when Whitney hit one of those annoying high notes.

"No, he didn't. Your dad likes good music ... he likes Tom Petty, not Whitney Houston!"

"What? You don't like Whitney Houston? This is an awesome song!""

"No, it's not. It's horrible and repetitive and these are completely vapid lyrics."

Will, previously so silent I suspected him of sleeping, pipes up with this gem:

"Mommy! Let this be a lesson to you ... don't EVER say the word 'stupid.'"

I couldn't see him because it was dark in the van, but I'm pretty certain his little four-year-old finger was shaking in my direction.

"She didn't say 'stupid', she said 'vapid.'" Scott said in my defense.

"Well, then, let this be a lesson to you ... don't EVER say the words 'stupid' or 'vapid'."

When I had kids, I knew that I'd have to curb some of the more colorful words in my vocabulary, but those were not the words that I thought I'd get in trouble for saying. Another lesson learned.

Showing some poise

"Mommy! Mommy! Mom-Meeee!"

I barely hear Will yelling for me — partly out of practice and partly because I'm concentrating too hard on picking out the least-disgusting baby food options for Charlie.

"Mommy! I have something important to show you! Mommy! Look. Look. Look!"

"Will! Just a second, Mommy's looking at her baby food coupons."

I've decided to just go for what I have a coupon for — even if it is Apples & Chicken all ground up in a jar. Why do we do this to babies?

"Mommy! It's very important. Please come over here!"

"Will. Please be patient, I'll be right with you."

"OK. But I know you're definitely going to want to see this.""

I finally just give up, planning to give Charlie a grilled cheese sandwich and fruit.

"What is it, Will?"

Triumphant, Will holds up an extra large pack of Poise pads.

Scott and I give each other a look.

"Do you know what those are?" Scott says to Will.

"Do you think Mommy has bladder-control issues?" I say to myself.


Still triumphant, Will beams and points to the bright pink Box Tops coupon on the package.

"Look! For my school."

Needless to say, we did not buy the Poise pads ... despite the potential 10 cents for the T-Birds.

Rock 'n Roll All Night!

Saturday morning Will and I were driving to the dump to drop off our recycling, when "Rock 'n Roll All Night" from KISS came on 105.7 FM. I sang along for awhile, then noticed Will jamming in the backseat.

When we got back in the car Will asked if I could turn the song on again, and when I couldn't, asked that I sing it with him. He joined in, and even though his timing was a little off, it was still a lot of fun.

Will seemed impressed that my friends and I had dressed up as KISS for Halloween once. It was by far my best Halloween costume ever; I was Paul Stanley, the guy in the middle center on the picture.

We got home and I told Jana about Will's singing, and he responded with an encore. Jana got a brief bit of it on video:

Arithmetic plus one

This morning at Pick 'n Save I decided to try Will on this addition thing he broke out for me Friday at breakfast. Led off by having Will reiterate that adding the Badgers' two Big Ten winning streaks -- three and five games long -- made eight conference basketball wins.

Then I got out my BlackBerry and turned it to the calculator function, and asked Will to start naming numbers to add, trying to figure the answer out himself, then confirming it with the calculator. He was really digging the calculator. It reminded me of the Saturday Night Live sketch featuring Fred Armisen and John Malkovich as kids who are really excited about getting a calculator for Christmas. Give it a watch, especially the last minute, really funny stuff.

Link

Will really stunned me by rattling off two plus two equals four, four plus four equals eight, and eight plus eight equals sixteen. Asked him where he learned it, and it turns out it was either from a DVD or a song we've played in the car. Hey, whatever works, right? The experience has really made us excited to keep feeding him more math-related material.

Arithmetic

This morning I told Will that the Badgers had won last night. He showed more enthusiasm than usual, getting out an upbeat "Good!" in the same vein as I say "Good!" when he has a dry diaper in the morning.

"The Badgers have won five games in a row now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but before that they lost six games in a row."

"But what about before that?"

"Before that they won three in a row."

Will put his spoon down and furrowed his brow. "That would mean they've won ... eight games?"

Yes! Hoping it would have been more at this point, but that's another subject!

We really haven't done much work on addition or math, formally at least, so it's interesting to see him picking this up. Next week I'll have Will figuring out the Badgers' strength of schedule or Ratings Percentage Index ranking.

Hairless or headless?

Monday night I cut my hair for the first time with my new clippers, a model I picked up at Target carrying the tag "You can't mess this up!" I gave it a shot, and true enough I didn't mess it up, but it did come in shorter than expected.

Which is to say just about bald. I didn't mind, but the shortness alarmed Will. He said "Next time be careful Daddy, or you'll cut your head off." Pretty sure they would have put a warning on the box if that was possible.

In his brother's footsteps

Here's a video of Charlie after he found one of Will's toys tonight. Will got this walker from Grandma Linda when he was Charlie's age.

Just like Will, Charlie took off like a shot, doing his best Old Man with a Walker impression.

I think Charlie is going to do really well with it. Especially if we can get Will to stop "helping."



I've included a picture from mid-March 2005 of Will using the toy at Grandma's condo. Notice Will's awful haircut, courtesy of his mother, and one big reason Charlie went to the salon for his first trim.

Look Ma! One hand!

Charlie was born at 2:22 a.m. The maternity ward was incredibly quiet and just one nurse and our doctor were there to witness his arrival.

Our newborn son protested the turn of events with a small, sweet cry accompanied by a protruding lower lip. Scott and I were so enamored by his quiet demeanor that I proclaimed him my "mild child" to Will's "wild child."

Sometimes when he cried, we would start to giggle at the sheer gentleness of it.
At one point, I think Scott even declared it "cute."

Oh, my, how things change in 9 months.

Charlie recently unveiled a cry so angry, so loud and so forceful, I fear the neighbors may call the authorities. This blood-curdling yowl is released whenever we need to change a diaper or a bottle is not delivered at the speed of light.

Well, last night, I outsmarted our little screaming bundle of joy. I was able to feed him and change his diaper simultaneously. One hand held the bottle (he was unwilling to cooperate and hold it himself) and one hand unbuttoned pjs and changed the diaper.

Now, the first-time mom in me would have found all this incredibly unsanitary. But now: I. DON'T. CARE.

The sheer efficiency of the move makes any potential germs completely irrelevant.

I will do anything to avoid that barbaric cry that haunts my dreams ... to shelter my first-born son from this violent sound in the middle of the night ... to prevent a zombie-like husband with nerves like shredded cheddar.

I believe this is Charlie's revenge ... perhaps we shouldn't have found his gentle cry quite so comical.

Love in the Time of Candy

Four hours into a five-hour trip home from Michigan, we stopped for a potty break in Appleton.

Will, as is his habit these days, asked for a treat. He pointed to a display of Tootsie Rolls, Junior Mints and Dots and asked for one of them. I said , "No, you've had enough sweets today."

"How much is it?" he asked.

"Well, they're 3 for a $1.00."

"A dollar? That's not much."

It really wasn't. But I was determined to hold firm.

"Can I get it and give you money from my piggy bank?"

"No. I don't want you to have any more candy."

"How about these?" Combos for about $2.

"Will. No. You could get six Tootsie Rolls for that price!"

"Really? Wow! That's such a great deal!"

He was so impressed by the value of his dollar, I told him he could get them and save them for later.

We got in the van, Will skipping and holding his loot in this hands. He packed them
away in his secret compartment in the van and shouted, "I LOVE you Mommy!"

"I love you too Will!"

"Have you figured it out yet Mommy?"

"What?"

"Have you figured out yet that when you buy me treats, I say 'I love you?'"

Just as grandparents around the world have always suspected.

Crazy Hair Day

Found this one from Cabin Fever Week at daycare ... it was Crazy Hair Day.