Early retirement

Yesterday morning, I was brushing my teeth, and Will came into the bathroom to do the same.

"Daddy, do you know what retirement is?"

"Yes."

"It's when you get rid of your job and do nothing."

"Sounds about right. Why do you bring it up?

"I think you should retire and take me places."

A fine idea, my boy, but one that's not possible if we don't have enough money. You see, when you get rid of your job, people stop paying you, so you need to have saved up enough money to spend on food, housing, and taking you places.

"But Daddy, don't you and Mommy have enough money?"

"Maybe to retire for about six months after the way the stock market has been going lately!"

[Silent pause, puzzled look on Will's face.]

"OK, you can take your money and put it in my piggy bank, and then you'll have enough money to retire."

Not so, my friend. Wondering if he had subscribed to Kiplinger's behind my back, I asked Will where he had learned about retirement. I should have known:

"SpongeBob ... Mr. Krabs retired and they changed his restaurant around."